1. The building is clean
2. The building is cold with centralised unit air-conditioning system
3. The building has a take-your-number-and-shut-the-fuck-up-system
(*ding, dong* satu-dua-duduk-diam-diam, kaunter lapan)
4. The building has ample parking spots
You see, however much the government is trying to improve civil services, we'll always have that one problem : Attitude. The building is clean. Attitude fucked it up. The building smells good. Attitude fucked it up. Your ex just passed away. Attitude fucked everything up. Again, let's try to get on the same page here. Us, being responsible citizens, applies to the EPF to actually play our roles to help contribute to the country in certain ways. Then comes this guy, sitting in front of a HUGE acrylic wall plate behind that says "Anda Keutamaan Kami - You Are Our Priority"*, and decides to screw half your not-so-bad day to a not-so-ok-now day. Please bear in mind, he is a representative of the Ah Goong**.
* Not a joke, go to the EPF building and check it out.
** Cantonese version for the word "Government” which also means “Grandfather”".
Our number got displayed after 40 mins or so, and my brother did a mistake that wasn't entirely his. He forgot... as a matter of fact, he didn't forget, he wasn't informed at all. Nothing on the application form says anything about "salinan IC". So comes the question, if we can't even keep the public informed or reminded of things on a piece of document, what more behind the counter itself?! And we’re supposed to know. If you’re registering a new account, you’re most probably a first timer right? Bloody common sense here. Unlike passport, if you forget your IC, then you might as well just be shot. Or just leave the country in an Indonesian speed boat for your embarrassment.
So you see, the big picture here isn’t really the A-hole’s problem, although he should be taught to at least communicate with a little more decency. The main problem is, the big guns up there do not view the government sectors as a business entity by itself. If the EPF is a product or in this case a service, the public should very well be their customers. And when there’s A LOT of customers, there should be a thing called CUSTOMER SERVICE. Common sense right? Wrong! And you know what? You’re suppose to commit your life in this fund contribution. Unless you wanna be your own boss and sell dope for a living. Then again, you might commit your life contributing your anus to prison uniformed sodomisers. Unless of course, you’re a fag…
Ok, back to the nice building. So we walked briskly towards the cafeteria where a 20 cents photcopy machine is, and walked back to the counter where that sourshitball was sitting. To our surprise, the document was processed. But do you know what fucked it up again? Attitude. Foo-yoh... it was as though we pissed him off because HIS company did not informed us about the photocopy bullshit. His face was very much screaming for a knuckle socker (that's a fist for you civil counter servants who doesn't understand). 2 minits later, "DAH!". That was it. No thank you, no smile. Just a my-family-members-just-died-just-now face and that was fucking it.
After 40 mins of waiting, 3 mins of processing and one quarter of a second for "DAH!". He can’t spare another quarter second for “Thank you” or “Terima Kasih”. Or cut it short with “Tima Kasih”. Motherfuckballs. You know what, I'm so damn annoyed now that I don't even know which direction this post is getting to. It's not gonna be funny and truthfully, there'll be no god damn punchline in this writeup. However, if I were to have a chance to teach "Mister Mukamasam" some manners, I will not hesitate to use the most powerful weapon of all. No, you smart fucks, I don’t mean words or smart statements, I mean this :
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A Heckler & Koch USP .45 ACP. Just by the way it sounds, you know this is a real killer. Teach anyone any lesson without even having to discharge it. Just point and teach. If you have a kid, forget about that rotan cane or those sissy “time outs”. Just remember, when all else fails :
Point & Teach. With a H&K USP that is…
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