I met a prick. He has a penile head. He is a dark prick with a penile head. He is a dark prick with a penile head that's rude. And he works for a Japanese corporation and we should call this corporation... Hi-techi. Hi-techi has a very decent warehouse in terms of it's logistic size and operation platform. So while being awed by the system and the machines they were using, the admiration comes to a halt all of sudden. Why? Coz we met Attitude himself. You see, my job is to co-ordinate shipments to other countries and in order for the the goods to arrive to destinations, protocols are required. The goods being packed in place, the container being booked, the arrangement with the private inspector to inspect the goods so he can approve the shipment and lastly, the container to sail away.
So there we were at 11 on a hot fucking morning. After two and a half weeks of intense communication and CONFIRMATION with different parties and shit, we were there. Inside the warehouse. With my boss. Sweating exactly like a motherball that has just robbed a bank and ran another 2 kilometers to hide kinda sweating. So, all excited and shit to at last being able to send this chunk of metalshit away, there was nothing for us to see. No stocks, no container. Only us and an angry inspector. He wasn't pissed at us, he was a nice guy. Only angry. We are nice guys too, only angry as well but with a little attitude of course...heh. But this one motherfuckerwithadickassheadthatejaculatesprematurely was angry, and he's not nice. And he stinks. And he's ugly. And he happens to be the person in charge for the warehouse's morning shift.
Ok, so let's call this main character, Mr. Forkliftman. I can't mention names here because I might appear stereotypical. So figure how you might, if you really need know. We were directed to him because HE was SUPPOSE to pack our stocks in place. Not anyone else. So we approached him and ask for our goods, then he went "tatau! tatau!". Sounds like a man straight out of the jungle huh? "tatau! tatau! ohmlaga laga ngbilaybushnya!". Son of a bitch. Feeding words into our mouths with "dia orang cakap after lunch, jadi after lunch la!". Ok, reflection time. First, that dumbfuck must have thought that we are dumbfucks because I don't think we can be such dumbfucks to arrive at 11am if we were to arrange the inspection after lunch right? So I am right that he's the dumbfuck here.
All of sudden, my fairy-like brother stepped in front and said "So how now?!", with such anger and pissness I swear I saw him holding his fist preparing for a knuckle socker. But King of the Sun is here, and this time, it's wits time. "Why are we wasting time talking with a jungle man?" I said it right in front of Mr. Forkliftman, who's trying to fit a zebra bone across his lower lip. I called the person in charge and my brother conveniently pull the phone from me and told the management office that "Please be here now because this man here is not co-operative at all. Please don't waste our time".
Anyhoo, everything was settled later in the night. Yes, the night because we had to repeat the trip to the warehouse again. From this experience, I have come out with somewhat of a demographics* of what kinda cock you can be based on the different levels in a hierachy of a corporation :
*For entertainment purposes only. If you feel offended because you belong in these category, tough shit.
Receptionists
How cocky?
Best they can do is probably hanging up or transferring a call before we even have the chance to say who we want to talk to.
Famous lines?
"HelloHi-Techiproductsberhadhowcanihelpyou?..*click*music plays*". All within 2 seconds.
Best treated with?
A dildo up their arse. Then again, they might already have one up theirs.
Executives
How cocky?
Most probably rejecting your requests or questions by using their bosses as a defence weapon.
Famous lines?
"I don't know/care my boss said..."
Best treated with?
A reversed bear trap on their mouth. Snap! Boo-hoo.
Managers/Supervisors
How cocky?
They usually tells or fucks you base on their experience. Usually talks down to people who's at a lower post than them. Coz it took them 25 years to become one.
Famous lines?
"Let me tell you, the ONLY way to do this based on what I've gone through is......"
Best treated with?
An MD or a CEO who's your relative. Oh, bring some shoe wax, comes in handy for em managers.
CEOs
How cocky?
You can almost swear that their ears are made of testicles.Comes with ejaculation effects them moment they snap at you.
Famous lines?
Wait a minute, they don't need to talk. They just give you an evil stare.
Best treated with?
A Manager.
And lastly,
Mr. Forkliftman
How cocky?
All of the above mentioned cockiness.
Famous lines?
"tatau! tatau! ohmlaga laga ngbilaybushnya!"
Best treated with?
All of the above mentioned things. Tied with a rafia string.
Oh, in case you're wondering what Mr. Forkliftman does when he meets another Mr. Forkliftman like him,
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So insignificant that it turns funny.
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