Broadbandit

First of all : prior to me writing the first alphabet for this post last 2 weeks, I've received a call about my cousin's death. My cousin's sudden death from heart attack. Great guy, noble character. But fat. So, cheesy as it seems, may he rest in peace with the burgers and booze he's always loved. And this time, it's even better for him. Coz he can't die twice up there I think. And this is not a joke. I'm as serious as your girl/boyfriend telling you to stop digging your nose in public and eating the boogers after that. Alex, you eat the shit out of yourself up there because now, you can. Respect, brader!

Now that we've got that our of my system.... let's get back to the main shit here. BROADBAND *Psycho's soundtrack playing in the background with the tunes being mimicked by Akon*.

Have you ever tried being a freaking pirate on music coz you're being promised "100mbps", which obviously is shared, and realised that you can actually take a dump, then a shower, then drive out to Seremban from KL to buy a bowl of beef noodle then come home and find out that Snow Patrol's - Chasing Car download window has been changed to "Snow Patrol - Waiting for Bus"? That is exactly how slow it is. Or how when it rains, the speed drops like crazy? I mean, we will aways be ahead of other countries in terms of our so called services or speed because we, I mean they, constantly compare themselves to broadbands in war torn third world countries. It's good as comparing a Proton with a Chery. And honestly, Chery will be better than our local carmakers soon. Very soon.

Let me tell you an experience I had, back tracked to about 4 years ago... I think. I was working with a fucked up boss who had a fucked up office in a fucked up building called Kelana Segi Empat. So as usual, TM will deploy their loud mouthed sales people around the building to sell, well, broadbitch. So came one girl, rang the bell (which had a note next to it clearly indicating that no sales people are allowed unless with appointment) and wanted to sell us packages of their self overrated broadband packages. So as usual, I open the door and she stormed to my boss's room. Opening up her brochure and started explaining how good and sweet their shit is. How fast the speed and how much porn my horny boss can download.

So my boss being the sucker that he is, said "OK, let's try it then." and proceeded to signing the application form with all the works. After all the jingles and mingles, she said she'll be back in two days time to pass my boss the receipt when he pays by then.

Two days passed and "ding dong".

Came the same girl, and again walked into my boss's room and she said this : "I'm sorry, the service is yet to reach this building, so we have to wait for another 2 months. But you can pay first, just in case of a price hike." How fucking dumb is that?! I understand that they're contracted companies to deal with the sales and marketing stuff. But imagine trying to sell a product that doesn't exist yet but they wanna complete the transaction. Again, how dumb can they be? And yes, both the contracted company and TM. Which I am sure as of now, it stands for "Tak Mau".

And if you have problems with your connections and they actually arrive, you're lucky. Very very lucky. Because the technicians are usually somewhere else. So, for you guys that are looking for alternatives in broadband services, click on the link below and see what kinda mothershit balls the truth is on Malaysia Broadband. And I bet BlueHippo the irritating fucker will soon turn green and die of STD. Meanwhile, and as usual, check out my interpretation of the biggest broadband in Malaysia:

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Just like a dead and lifeless bitch.


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