You've Only Got One Life, Do Something!

Riiiggghhhhhtttt....

If you have been driving around Kuala Lumpur recently and being the mainstream radio whore in your music preference, you would have heard that line on air. When exactly, I don't know but not too long ago. Recent as a matter of fact. And yes, I became a mainstream radio whore for a good 10 seconds because I actually wanted to listen to some radio ads. You know, just to get away from my already outdated CD collection for a while (by outdated I'm not referring to your Engelbert Humpadick kinda bullshit, you tasteless whore. I'm just 3 months behind my music pirating practise). AAAnnyyhooo... just when I thought that radio ads are actually the only saviour of shitty radio stations out there, came this line so powerful, it hit me so fucking hard in my jejenum that I literally puked last month's salmon sushi out of my stomach lining. Yea, I still keep it in there just in case world war 3 is around the corner.
* Part of the alimentary canal between the duodenum and ileum.

What the fuck does "You've Only Got One Life, Do Something!" in a seriously concern tone means? Ok, so it's about a foundation trying to save those abused/homeless children. And if they really are as described, I'm quite sure no one gives two fucks about them anyway because if people DID care, they wouldn't need a radio campaign, would they? C'mon now, don't get all hypocritical and judge me of my "insensivity" towards this issue. When was the last time you donated anything to anyone besides your toilet trip for the municipal council?. Now how's that for doing something? Anyway, by the time they gave me that diarrhea spew, I've already forgetten what the fuck the foundation is truly about. I am just fucking flabbergasted by the creative team's idea man. Have they totally lost their creative senses and just went "You know what, let's just try to make them feel bad to tap into their charity side. Let's make them feel bad about not donating man. Let's just ask them if they ACTUALLY did something.. heh heh" *followed by an evil grin while they sip their imported beer in a cosy creative studio room with a 64 inch plasma TV mated to a PS 3.

Well, Mr. Creative Director, or perhaps Mr. Foundation Chairman, let me just say you really fuck this one up big time. And you guys spent quite a sum of money on mainstream radio too, to tell us things that we already know :

1. We HAVE one life - anyone who've got two, let me know. I'll buy half of the other off you. Buying the whole package would make me lonely. So I'll offer you half. You and me. When everyone's dead. What say you? Better than spending it on charity right?

2. We ARE doing things constantly.

Perhaps I can tell you what people with ONE life do everyday. Just in case you were too busy exploring your creative mojo, petrol prices went up and it went down just a tad too little to repair any damage. And business is affected like an HIV infected whore who's made public about her disease. That's right, no one's coming! So that one life is trying pretty damn hard now to make sure his/her children doesn't starve to half death and make it into a foundation for your creative exploitations. And that same person is probably trying so damn hard to pay his mortgage and shit just to make sure his family don't enrol into a homeless welfare. And here you are, selling a fine dining cuisine table ala-francoise-le-blanc for about 36,000 Ringgit in the name of charity? I don't know about you, but this charity thing here is getting pretty expensive for us commoners to fuck around with.

How about you guys start writing ads that makes sense so that people would actually be entertained or touched then perhaps, they will donate and eventually keep your ass on a payroll? Now THAT, is doing something. Writing ads that direct people while trying to stay subtle does not.

But seriously, if I were to really be that naive and took their one-power-liner rather seriously, this is what I would have done:

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Yeap! Gonna take a dump. I AM doing something. As a matter of fact, I'm doing a lot of things for a lot of people even. The toilet roll came from the grocery store who bought it from the marketing company who pushes products of the paper mill who buys electricity from power producers who eventually will need toilet rolls too. What could I say, I've only got one life. I've gotta do something.